My heart could just explode trying to write this and deciding on one thing to write about. This year there have been so many things --- so much change and freedom how could I get it all in once post?
I guess I will start with where it all began, the end of my strength. Now if you're a mom you will probably really understand this part. If you are not a mom, go thank your mother for surviving potty training (thanks mom!). I know I sound extremely dramatic but when I recall back to my first attempt (yes there have been multiple attempts) at potty training our 3 year old son about a year ago it seems blurry and like a near death experience. It was hard and it left me defeated, disappointed, and exhausted. My spirit and heart were dry and near death. I gave it everything I had. Really I did. But to no avail I did not succeed and realized I did everything but give it to Jesus.
With the return of my mother-in-love to the states from Indonesia she quickly realized something was off. She ever so gently told me that my spirit seemed so tiny (tired and faint) and much to my surprise rather than feeling offended or defensive I felt relief. I was thankful that someone had understood what was in my heart and reminded me that all I had to do was surrender to Jesus. This 5 minute conversation just about saved my life. Not my physical but my spiritual life. No one can survive on their own strength. In fact ultimately that is telling Jesus you don't need him and that you will save yourself --- which will never work.
Most people would claim that they are already thankful. I know would have until experiencing the change in my heart. But I've found there is brand new gratitude to Jesus overflowing from my heart. While this experience would be considered petty to most, I found that it rippled into a wave that changed my life. Forever.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." Psalm 28:7